Real life stories: “I was a dead woman walking”

Jen is 43 year old mother of 3 children with a history of drug and alcohol addiction and domestic violence. Prior to being assessed by BHT Addiction Services she had 5 in-patient detoxes. She relapsed after each one. This is her story:

I lost everyone, everything I held dear and twenty-six years of what could have been the best years of my life to alcohol and addiction. I was a dead woman walking when I arrived at the Detox Support Project. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually broken. DSP took me in and held me.

The sense of relief to finally feel safe and cared for is overwhelming. As you gradually and gently physically and mentally detox, the staff and volunteers who are recovered addicts, plant the seed of hope – hope for a better life not ruled by drink and drugs, darkness and misery.

As the days turn into weeks your courage, your strength grow, you begin to see, you begin to believe that anything is possible. You see others arrive full of despair and desperation and you see those who were once hopeless alcoholics/addicts, now volunteers who give their time to help the still suffering addict. They give you hope, belief and faith that a better life in sobriety awaits.

The Recovery Project is a place of discovery, a place of real life miracles and in my experience has saved my life and saved me in every way a person can be saved. Were it not for the Recovery Project there is no doubt in my mind I would not be here to write these words today. The obsession to drink and use has been removed.

I wake every day feeling free, instead of feeling full of fear, full of dread. I have regained the ability to trust and to be trusted. I have regained my self-worth, my dignity, my self-respect and my confidence.

I have learnt how to laugh again. I am free and I am happy. Above all else, I have hope and faith for the future that my dream to be a good mum to my sons will come true. Also my coming into the Recovery Project has also given my sister (the gateway to my children) hope, hope that she will get her sister back. The Recovery Project has given me the chance to rebuild bridges, to rebuild my family, to rebuild my life. Yours eternally grateful.

Real life stories: Gemma is rebuilding her life thanks to BHT’s Addiction Services

Gemma is a 47 year old woman who has had numerous previous engagements with local drug and alcohol services. She describes her childhood, as chaotic and volatile. Her brother committed suicide, aged 23. She was previously a client of the Recovery Project, after which she was abstinent for 3 years prior to getting into a relationship which led to domestic violence and relapse. This is her story:

“I am an addict who picked up drugs at 11 years old. Drug use was quite normal in my family, as my mum was an addict and my dad used to smoke weed all the time. I didn’t have a secondary education, as I was expelled from school at 13 years old. My drug use progressed swiftly over the years using benzos, barbiturates, heroin and crack cocaine and before I knew it I was injecting these drugs.

“I’ve got children that have suffered massively as a result of my using, as have my family and other people in my life.

“My using took me to jails, institutions and also death, as I’ve had several overdoses and was pronounced dead on arrival at hospital twice. I was an addict of the most hopeless kind who could not stop using for anything.

“Since coming through BHT Recovery Project I’ve managed to start rebuilding my life.

“After getting through a difficult detox in hospital and getting to the project absolutely battered and shut down, I’ve started to grow in confidence. As it is requirement that we attend fellowship meetings, I’ve begun building support outside of here, and have made solid friendships – especially with women, that’s something I once struggled with. I can now set healthy boundaries for myself, which for me is something I never even knew about before coming into treatment. I get an opportunity to start working through the 12 Steps which gives me a firm foundation for my recovery, and I’ve learnt that I don’t have to be alone. I’m building relationships with my family again, and looking into doing voluntary work. None of these things would have been possible for me if it wasn’t for all the work I’ve been able to do by coming here. I owe my life to God and the Recovery Project.”

The Brighton and Hove Independent Drugs Commission: An Opportunity Missed

The presentation of the report and recommendations of the Independent Drugs Commission, and the predictable reaction of local and national media, means that the chance of having a reasonable debate on the issues is lost.  I turned down about a dozen requests for comment or interview , and remained silent on the report until now as there was nothing to be gained from trying to persuade journalists to discuss the wider issue of tackling drugs when all they want to do is discuss consumption rooms.

All this is frustrating as some of the conclusions of the Commission raise some interesting issues, worthy of consideration, but overall the report is an opportunity missed.  This is my response to the Commission’s report.

The Commission addressed four issues:

• Are the current strategies to prevent drug related deaths sufficient to achieve a significant reduction in the coming years?
• Are the policing, prosecution and sentencing strategies currently pursued, effective in reducing drug related harm?
• Are we doing enough to protect young people and to enable them to make informed decisions around drug use and involvement in drug markets?
• To what extent does the treatment system meet the treatment and recovery needs of the citizens of Brighton & Hove?

Unfortunately, the report is presented in a vacuum, giving no acknowledgement of the most radical change in national drug strategy for a generation.  The Coalition Government has called for a treatment revolution and the championing of abstinence. The words “abstinence”, “abstain”, even “drug free” do not appear in the Commission’s report even once. By ignoring the national context, the report is immediately undermined and is, at best, of academic interest.

My disappointment with the conclusions focuses on the first and fourth points above and can be summarised as follows: it lacks ambition, and the presentation of the issues does not create the right platform for a proper debate on how to enhance progress in drug treatment.

According to the report, just 12% of those entering treatment services in Brighton “left the treatment system in a planned way, having overcome their dependency”. This compares to a national figure of 15%. The report is correct to say that “For the system to remain sustainable, the number of successful exits from the treatment system must keep pace with the number of new clients registered. If too many clients are retained in the system for too long, the system will become log-jammed. The Health and Well Being Board needs to find ways to increase the numbers successfully treated each year and support their recovery in order to prevent relapses and a return to dependence, both on drugs and on the treatment system”.

While the recommendation that “The development of a city wide recovery culture is promoted and embedded throughout the treatment system, and related settings”, it is an after thought, appearing on page 23 of the 23 page report. It illustrates a lack of ambition. This issue should be upfront and should set the tone for the rest of the report, creating the climate where the more sensationalist issues, such as consumption rooms, could have been dealt with in the context of recovery and abstinence.

A bold ambition, of say 40% or 50% leaving treatment drug free, would have been a defining contribution to the debate and the development of services in Brighton. Such an approach would be right for clients, it would help them achieve their aspirations, and would assist them to cope with the fundamental changes we are experiencing in welfare reform. A failure to address the addiction of a sizeable cohort will result in them finding themselves further outside the structures of society with all the predictable consequences for them, their families and society at large.

The presentation of the report attracted predictable, yet avoidable, headlines. The media focused exclusively on consumption rooms. How different it could have been had the report recommended a treatment revolution locally, with the ambition that Brighton will replace the unwanted headline of “drug death capital” to the “recovery capital” of the UK.

That would have created a climate where more controversial steps could have been introduced as a minor part of a process aimed at getting people into recovery and abstinence.

I previously urged the Commission to look again at its report so that it could strengthen its recommendations and thereby becoming a defining point in the evolution of drug policy and the start of a real drug revolution locally. I am sorry it did not do this.

Running a marathon has been a lifelong ambition. Guess what I will be doing on Sunday ….

One of my lifelong ambitions has been to run a marathon.  As a young man, many, many years ago, I was a keen runner but never managed a marathon.  This Sunday is the Brighton Marathon, and guess what?  I will be cheering from the sidelines in support of James Danks who is running on behalf of BHT.

James is a recovering addict who just one year ago to the day started a detox programme that has changed his life.

James said: “It is amazing to think how far I have come. Just one year ago I was drinking a litre of vodka every day and spending £40 a day on heroin. I was in such a bad way and I knew that things had to change quickly or I could die and leave my sons without their father. I couldn’t let that happen and it was that thought that gave me the strength to get clean and to change my life for good.

“I was offered a place at BHT’s Detox Support Project, something that I thank my lucky stars for every day. I truly believe they saved my life. They have been so supportive and have helped me to deal with some deep rooted issues that have helped me with my recovery and are helping me every day to live a life of abstinence.”

James is not new to running events having completed the Brighton Half Marathon in February of this year in memory of his late wife Zoe and to raise money for BHT.

For the first time since his teenage years, James has a new found hope and plans for the future.

He said: “Exercise and keeping fit has played a huge part in my recovery so it is really nice to be able to combine my new found love for fitness with raising money for BHT. It’s great to feel like I am giving something back.

“I feel confident about the run on Sunday although I know it is going to be tough. Every step of the way I will be thinking about how far I have come in the last year and all of my new and exciting plans for the future.”

Anyone who would like to sponsor James can do so by clicking this link or by contacting Liz Davies on (01273) 645425.

The Independent Drug Commission for Brighton is missing the opportunity to help turn the City from being the “drug death capital” to the “recovery capital” of the UK

The preliminary conclusions of the Independent Drug Commission for Brighton and Hove raise some interesting issues, worthy of debate, but overall the report is an opportunity missed.  This post is basically my personal response to the Commission’s consultation.

The Commission addressed four issues:

• Are the current strategies to prevent drug related deaths sufficient to achieve a significant reduction in the coming years?
• Are the policing, prosecution and sentencing strategies currently pursued, effective in reducing drug related harm?
• Are we doing enough to protect young people and to enable them to make informed decisions around drug use and involvement in drug markets?
• To what extent does the treatment system meet the treatment and recovery needs of the citizens of Brighton & Hove?

Unfortunately, the report is presented in a vacuum, giving no acknowledgement of the most radical change in national drug strategy for a generation which has called for a treatment revolution and the championing of abstinence. The words “abstinence”, “abstain”, even “drug free” do not appear in the report once. By ignoring the national context, the report is immediately undermined, and is, at best, of academic interest.

My disappointment with the preliminary conclusions focuses on the first and fourth points above and can be summarised by two points: it lacks ambition, and the presentation of the issues does not create the right platform for a proper debate on how to enhance progress in drug treatment.

Just 12% of those entering treatment services in Brighton “left the treatment system in a planned way, having overcome their dependency”. This compares to a national figure of 15%. The report is correct to say that “For the system to remain sustainable, the number of successful exits from the treatment system must keep pace with the number of new clients registered. If too many clients are retained in the system for too long, the system will become log-jammed. The Health and Well Being Board needs to find ways to increase the numbers successfully treated each year and support their recovery in order to prevent relapses and a return to dependence, both on drugs and on the treatment system”.

Sadly, this conclusion is not supported by a formal recommendation. It is almost an afterthought, appearing on page 22 of the 23 page report. It illustrates a lack of ambition. This issue should be upfront and should set the tone for the rest of the report, creating the climate where the more sensationalist issues, such as consumption rooms, could have been dealt with in the context of recovery and abstinence.

A bold ambition, of say 30% or 40% leaving treatment drug free, would have been a defining contribution to the debate and the development of services in Brighton. Such an approach would be right for clients, it would help them achieve their aspirations, and would better prepare them to cope with the fundamental changes we are experiencing in welfare reform. A failure to address the addiction of a sizeable cohort will result in them finding themselves further outside the structures of society with all the predictable consequences for them, their families and society at large.

The presentation of the report attracted predictable, yet avoidable, headlines. The media led on consumption rooms. How different it could have been had the report recommended a treatment revolution locally, with the ambition that Brighton will replace the unwanted headline of “drug death capital” to the “recovery capital” of the UK.

That would have created a climate where more controversial steps could have been introduced as part of a process aimed at getting people into recovery and abstinence.

I hope that the Commission will look again at its report, delay the final report if necessary so that it can strengthen its recommendations and thereby becoming a defining point in the evolution of drug policy locally and the start of a real treatment revolution.

Real Life Stories: Wayne’s Story

This is the fourth in a series of posts that record the experiences of men and women who have used one of BHT’s various services. In his own words, this is Wayne’s story:

“I’m born and bred in Brighton, lived here all my life. I felt very lonely, isolated and scared as a child and was abused sexually and in other ways. I grew up distrusting life and people in general. My progression into drugs and drink was very fierce and full on. Age eight I tried glue and gas. This then spiralled into dope, speed, acid, ecstasy, crack, drink and then heroin. I spent a total of 34 years in active addiction. My needle fixation was extreme as was all of my addiction.

“I spent a total of nine years in and out of prison due to committing crime to fund my addiction. Also many trips to hospital intensive care units, overdoses, fits, seizures, collapses and a coma.

“After trying to get clean many times through BHT’s Detox Support Project over the last eight years, I finally managed to get my recovery after completing a two and a half month detox at Detox Support Project in January 2011 and then spending eight months at the Recovery Project. The support I’ve had has been fantastic, and the staff team brilliant. My keyworker Anne at the Recovery Project I hold dear to my heart. Words cannot describe how much she helped me.

“I have a strong recovery now as I have a 12 step programme in my life. I mentor a client at Detox Support Project and also do lots of volunteer work there and at Recovery project. I’m coming up to one and a half years clean, completely free from addiction and I have a life not just an existence. How lovely to be able to give back what was freely given to me from Blythe and her team. God Bless.”

Reflections on drugs, rehab and the passing of Whitney Houston

BBC Wales is reporting that alcohol and drug rehabs in Wales are facing closure because of a lack of clients. It reports that almost half of the 91 clients referred to rehab went to centres in England. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-16992896

I had four reactions to this story:

Just 91 clients referred to residential rehab? Either Wales has resolved its alcohol and drug problem, in which case we should all be told how. More likely is a policy or cultural issue in Wales that does not recognise the evidence that treatment works and that head and shoulders above all treatment options is abstinence-based residential in terms of getting people off, and keeping them off alcohol and drugs

That last point “keeping them off alcohol and drugs” brings me to my second observation. Why on earth are people still being sent out of area for residential rehab? My experience over the last 25 years is that people sent out of area are ill-served since they will not have a drug-free support structure on their return and the likelihood of remaining abstinent are remote. Why do commissioners waste public funds by continuing to send people out of area?  An obvious response from some will be that here are no rehabs in their locality

That brings me to my third point, why aren’t there any rehabs? Why have commissioners failed to commission residential rehabs in their areas? Again, is it cultural or policy? If politicians are serious about tackling alcohol and drug addiction, then residential rehabs must be a corner stone of any strategy. Yes, it is often more expensive in the short term to send someone to rehab, but it is so much cheaper than keeping them on a maintenance script month after month and year after year.

My final point concerns abstinence. The word ‘recovery’ covers many approaches, including the ongoing prescribing of substitute drugs. Some use the phrase ‘abstinence’ to refer to being free from street drugs. I use the phrase to describe an individual being free from all drugs, including that most harmful one, alcohol. On this day, when the death of Whitney Houston leads the news, I am aware of reports that she had “kicked drugs” meaning cocaine and other illegal substances, but alcohol was never mentioned. Nor were prescribed drugs.

I don’t know what killed Whitney Houston, but I would suspect drugs and alcohol played a part. Like Amy Winehouse, like Michael Jackson, like so many known and not known individuals, a failure to direct them into abstinence is the ultimate neglect of individuals and the system.

A wonderful example of recovery from addiction

Just over 3 years ago, BHT celebrated its 40th Birthday at an event at St. Michael’s and All Angels Church in Brighton. The highlight of the evening was the account by ‘Donna’ who had been through our Addiction Services. Many people have referred to her moving account of how addiction had blighted her life and how she had, as a consequence, lost her twin sons. Last night I received an email from her. She has agreed to let me share part of it with you:

“I wanted to email you to give you a quick up date on how things are going in my life. I got married on the 21st January. It was a beautiful day. I am nearly 4 years clean and sober on the 6th March. I can not begin to explain how that feels.
I love being in recovery and being able to bring up my daughter with all the love in the world. I have contact still with my twins boys who I lost in my addiction and we are looking at them coming to stay for holidays next year.

“I continue to work a 12 step programme and still attend meetings. I have just set up a parents and carers committee in Narcotics Anonymous which is helping Mums and Dads in recovery to attend meetings by having a safe place where the children can go so the parents can get their recovery and the children can play safely. This gives me a lot of enjoyment.

“I don’t know if you remember a few years ago you asked me to write something about why its harder for women and Mums to come into recovery and what it was like for me coming to BHT and how BHT can help. I was just wondering if you were still interested it that as I would really like to get involved with giving something back to BHT for all the help it gave me.”

You bet I would love her to write about her experience so that a wider audience can be inspired by this remarkable woman. I will keep you posted.

Surviving Christmas in early recovery

Having just come back from my extended break, I have been getting updates from colleagues on what happened in our services over Christmas and the New Year.

It can be a very difficult time of year, not least in our Addiction Services. For many residents it might have been the first Christmas and New Year in decades that they were alcohol and drug free, and is a time when residents are painfully aware of being apart from families and loved ones. Sadly, it is a time when a higher than usual rate of relapse occurs.

What was truly remarkable about this Christmas and New Year was that just one resident relapsed and left the service.

And the reason for this success? It was a combination of factors including excellent planning and preparation by staff and residents, and the determination of residents to maintain their alcohol and drug-free lifestyle. There was a further important factor: the commitment and input from volunteers throughout the holiday period, including Christmas Day itself. All the volunteers over the Christmas period are former residents of the service. They bring a positive message of recovery and an understanding of the contrasting emotions that addicts in early recovery will experience at this time of year.

Over this period many residents met up with their families in a planned way. For most family members it will have been the first Christmas in many years that they had their mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter free from the chaos of addiction at Christmas time. What a wonderful Christmas present for the whole family.

Why are abstinence-based services not promoted in Brighton and Hove?

(Since posting the article below, I have received a very positive response from NHS Sussex and abstinence-based services, including BHT’s Detox Support and Recovery Projects, are to be included on the various websites. This response is much appreciated).

For the last few weeks I have been running a small campaign to try to get abstinence-based services for those with alcohol and drug problems included on websites run by the City Council and NHS Sussex. It has seemed to me to be quite extraordinary that, while harm minimisation services appear prominently, abstinence-based services were ignored.

Clients in BHT’s Recovery Project have consistently said to me that they were either not told about BHT’s abstinence-based services or, in some cases, actively discouraged from seeking abstinence itself.

At recent events on drugs organised by Caroline Lucas MP and Mike Weatherley MP, I asked whether the lack of promotion of abstinence and abstinence-based services was policy or cultural. The only responses I got were from someone who said I was “paranoid” and another who said that I liked to make criticisms of other agencies. Neither is true, certainly not the latter.

As for paranoia, I had a look at the various websites and other publications designed to help those in Brighton and Hove with alcohol and drug problems. BHT’s abstinence-based services, the Detox Support Project and the Recovery Project, were absent in all but one of these sites.

A booklet ‘What next? Your guide to drug treatment and recovery pathways in Brighton and Hove’ lists over 40 services, from harm minimisation services and prescribing services through to where you can get help getting a crisis loan. It includes some BHT services (such as Threshold, our Housing Advice Centre and First Base Day Centre) but it again fails to mention abstinence-based services including the Detox Support Project and the Recovery Project).

No one has yet answered whether the decision (it has to be conscious since it happens so consistently) is cultural or policy. If the former, something needs to be done since people in Brighton and Hove are being denied choice. If policy, who has made this decision and why?

In the last few days the City Council has amended some of its web pages to include the missing services and approach. I am grateful for this but wonder why on the main City Council website these services are posted under ‘Who else can help’ section rather than the main ‘Where to find help locally’ section.

I will continue to make a nuisance of myself until there is a shift in culture or a change in policy!